Saturday, August 18, 2007

Nothing got blown, not even a candle

Flash forward and it's Friday- the week went to hell in a breadbasket? not so witty, once I just read that again but on I go..
Birthday Wednesday was good and plenty. Now and Later. Mike and Ike (but no Tina, proud mary keep on burnin...)
I decided on SUSHI for my happy b-day meal. Went to Akina. They are trying to be hip and 'fusion' - whatever.
Ordered appetizers and 3 rolls plus a boring one. Waiter looked pained with each word spoken but he turned out to do fine with our countless (read ZERO) demands.
Appy was assortment of fried things- to be avoided at all costs in future. Calamari was rubber. dumplings were dried out. something called an inside out stuffed mushroom was like play dough, but the 1 piece of tempura shrimp was nicely done, hot, crisp, light batter. We split it and Boo ended up nibbling on the garnish as it took 30 minutes for our boat to dock......
On deck: Roe Roe Roll - Rainbow Roll - Golden Gate Roll (mmmmmango!!) and Boo threw in a Philly just cuz. All were perfect-very fresh, major yummy and what we didn't snarf down was my post-b-day lunch so it was winwinwin.
Waiter/Serf caught wind it was Bday and asked what dessert he could buy me. I should have ordered another Golden Gate Roll but told him to surprise me. EEEEK!!! Run for the hills!!!!!
While he whisked the dirties from our table I leaned forward and in my best Dirty Harry said, "You arent gonna do anything STOOPID like sing, right?"
His whispered reply said it all "No. You don't look like you want to be sung to."
How true, pale one, how true....

Several tense minutes later we sat staring at this: (insert picture later)
What the !?!? "Deep fried banana!" his eyes danced.
I prayed and dug in with a clean spoon. Dear Sweet Jesus it was, in fact, the sweetest bite of evil I have ever had in my mouth!!!!! It was like snorting lines of cotton candy off Willy Wonka's ASS........
Recipe for evil:
1 banana
1 egg roll wrapper
1/2 tsp whipped cream-whipped with piles of SUGAR and LARD! (ok not lard but it was all so scary)

I managed to push the hunk of hot, wet, evil banana to what I hoped was the salty part of my tongue-the part that does less to register sweet but I was wrong, the honey was taking over my brain and sucking my will to live an otherwise face-stuffing life. Boo had sweat on his upper lip- and he hadn't even picked up his spoon yet!!
"How is it?" Our caveman waiter returnith.
I gave a cheesy grin with puffed cheeks full of a bite that crap and managed a perfectly manicured thumb up. "Yay! Good choice then? I'm glad!!" He grinned like a mad scientist and hop-scotched away.

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