Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Flog Yer Blog

How much beef can a girl stand?
I think I've eaten a steady 4 days worth with no end in sight. And the sad truth is I no likey the cow. No. No likey. I used to love a thick, bloody hunk o'moo- but those days are ova.
Now it's all about the other. I shun the udder.
Seems like there must have been a sale. I have a fridge full and the madness ends tonight. Well... after tonight. Which is aka tomorrow. Night. Or something.

I am about to go make roasted chici-beans. I am very excited. Did I mention they are going to be roasted? It's all so new.

My plan:
rinse chici beans
gently wrap in paper towel and roll around until dry (the wet beans, not me!)
sprinkle olive oil (I won't write EVOO- I won't I tell ya I won't write it, speak it or think it!)
a bit of kosher salt
perhaps a smattering of secret weapon garlic seasoning?
roast at 350 for half hour.

Will report back in 30+ minutes.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Nothing got blown, not even a candle

Flash forward and it's Friday- the week went to hell in a breadbasket? not so witty, once I just read that again but on I go..
Birthday Wednesday was good and plenty. Now and Later. Mike and Ike (but no Tina, proud mary keep on burnin...)
I decided on SUSHI for my happy b-day meal. Went to Akina. They are trying to be hip and 'fusion' - whatever.
Ordered appetizers and 3 rolls plus a boring one. Waiter looked pained with each word spoken but he turned out to do fine with our countless (read ZERO) demands.
Appy was assortment of fried things- to be avoided at all costs in future. Calamari was rubber. dumplings were dried out. something called an inside out stuffed mushroom was like play dough, but the 1 piece of tempura shrimp was nicely done, hot, crisp, light batter. We split it and Boo ended up nibbling on the garnish as it took 30 minutes for our boat to dock......
On deck: Roe Roe Roll - Rainbow Roll - Golden Gate Roll (mmmmmango!!) and Boo threw in a Philly just cuz. All were perfect-very fresh, major yummy and what we didn't snarf down was my post-b-day lunch so it was winwinwin.
Waiter/Serf caught wind it was Bday and asked what dessert he could buy me. I should have ordered another Golden Gate Roll but told him to surprise me. EEEEK!!! Run for the hills!!!!!
While he whisked the dirties from our table I leaned forward and in my best Dirty Harry said, "You arent gonna do anything STOOPID like sing, right?"
His whispered reply said it all "No. You don't look like you want to be sung to."
How true, pale one, how true....

Several tense minutes later we sat staring at this: (insert picture later)
What the !?!? "Deep fried banana!" his eyes danced.
I prayed and dug in with a clean spoon. Dear Sweet Jesus it was, in fact, the sweetest bite of evil I have ever had in my mouth!!!!! It was like snorting lines of cotton candy off Willy Wonka's ASS........
Recipe for evil:
1 banana
1 egg roll wrapper
1/2 tsp whipped cream-whipped with piles of SUGAR and LARD! (ok not lard but it was all so scary)

I managed to push the hunk of hot, wet, evil banana to what I hoped was the salty part of my tongue-the part that does less to register sweet but I was wrong, the honey was taking over my brain and sucking my will to live an otherwise face-stuffing life. Boo had sweat on his upper lip- and he hadn't even picked up his spoon yet!!
"How is it?" Our caveman waiter returnith.
I gave a cheesy grin with puffed cheeks full of a bite that crap and managed a perfectly manicured thumb up. "Yay! Good choice then? I'm glad!!" He grinned like a mad scientist and hop-scotched away.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Hooked on the Q

It would seem that SOME people feel they can "Q" like the big dogs simply by striking a match. Not so.
Work meeting- team bonding- smears of reddish sweet sauce everywhere.
Yes, I may be Yankee to your Cracker, however (and it's a BIG however) I can not, will not, won't not eat that stuff.
They heated things on the grill & called it a BBQ. BBBlech.

Things I tolerated in my mouth include: 2 little wings- naked, please. These were grilled crisp and slightly charred. Not good, not vile. Tiny taste of my own "dumbed down mac salad" (rec to follow) and 6 ruffled ridgled tater chips (not vile, good) and I sucked down a cup of ice water then managed to shove 2 cookies in my face before I knew what hit me. (Sigh- I have no business eating store bought cookies but I did it. I am not proud. I also ate a banana before noon, and 1 slice of turkey (Boar's Head- the best). Just now I stuffed 1 handful of caramel mini-rice cakes in my cookie-hole. I feel thirsty.

Tonight I have NO idea what will be dinner. Boo is off at 8. In about 13 minutes someone is stopping by to chat and I think I should brush my teeth before they arrive. It's the least I can do. Of course I'll pull out some hard cheese, crackers and I have some more Boars Head I can roll into fascinating shapes which will amuse maybe only me. And what to drink? Ice tea- but do I have any more lemons left? Hmmmmmmmm........

Monday, August 13, 2007


While I was watching the glorious victory of Rock during the Hell's Kitchen finale, it occured to me that Chef Ramsey can be warm & fuzzy just like normal people. And I wondered if he gets sore throats (and soothes them with a spot-o-tea) after taping. And then I wondered if he tries extra hard to be a bastardo, or if that comes natural and if so, I wondered if he is single or if he's married because if he is married, that woman (if it is a woman and I suspect it is or that's a whole nother show) then -wait where was I? Rock won! Rock won!! I'm glad. In yer face BonBon!

Dinner was good. My craving for fish tacos has NOT QUITE been satisfied, but it worked:
blackened shrimp
tiny flour tortillas
perfectly ripe afta-cados mizz-ixed with chopped scallions and cutie grape tomatoes

Next time would NOT blacken shrimp. I could nary resist the Old Bay Blackened spice box. Really into tin now. Much less scary to drop.
Next time would TOTALLY make a sour-cream-ish sauce.
Next time would squeeze fresh lemons over shrimp- maybe minced garlic and some type of tzanazi sauce (how does one spell that? OPA!)

I'm sleepy.
Oh- dessert was cherries. Boo & I spit the pits (not for distance) and it was way satisfying....

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